


The Eve of Love and Worry

by undermyumbreon



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Bath, Cuddling, Food, Kissing, M/M, Massage, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Eve, Worries, discussions about the future, figure skating, figure skating practice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 06:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14014521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undermyumbreon/pseuds/undermyumbreon
Summary: Victor is swamped with anxiety over his future post retirement. When he returns home after a grueling skating practice, Victor finds that Yuuri has set up some surprises for him on this Valentine's Day Eve.





	The Eve of Love and Worry

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the YOI Valentine's Day Safe Bang (sooooo so late)!
> 
> Beta'd by: rockymints  
> https://rockymints.tumblr.com/

     _Exhaustion_. There was no other possible word to describe the utter fatigue that was coursing through Victor’s veins. It was as if gravity had grabbed a strong hold of him the moment he had stepped off of the ice rink. When he had finally been able to sit down, Victor had felt like he was out at sea, swaying from one side to another with the currents of the water. His body didn’t seem to have received the memo that he was no longer in constant motion.  
     Yakov had insisted to Victor that he was to remain behind and continue to practice his short program after his fellow skaters were relieved from their training. The first time Victor had been held back, it had been a greatly embarrassing ordeal for him as the younger skaters eyed him sympathetically. Now, he had come to accept the pitiful glances coming from the others as they shuffled off to the locker room.  
     It had only been a year since Victor had officially returned to the ice as a competitor, but it had only proved that he was over his head. Falling happened more frequently. Missed combinations occurred during a third of the attempts that were made. Bruises stung like burns and were noticeably colored in shades of purple and red. Breaks between sessions needed to be longer in order for Victor to muster up the energy to continue on with this training. Muscles ached to the point where it took him five extra minutes to complete every task during his morning routine. Victor was already feeling like he was fifty years old at age twenty eight.  
     Victor hated to admit it, he really did, but it was dawning on him that the end of his career was over on the horizon. It was more upsetting to think about that reality then he originally assumed it would be. His entire life’s dreams, ambitions, and goals had all been in the framework of advancing his figure skating talents. After retirement, he would be free to go wherever his heart desired. He had the money to explore other avenues and figure out the rest of his life, but he had no idea what he wanted to try out next. That was the scary part to him.  
     Now resting uncomfortably in his car, Victor stared out of the passenger’s window as he waited for the intersection light to turn green. Yakov had held him back for over an hour after the scheduled practice had ended. It was the longest training extension Victor had been forced to endure thus far. His spirits were rapidly sinking with each proceeding skating session. Each day pushed Victor closer towards the route of retirement instead of success.  
     Victor sighed heavily as he watched the people on the sidewalk bustle by one another. Some carried shopping bags while others cradled small bundles of flowers, usually roses. One was even holding several inflated heart shaped balloons. It was the final rush to collect romantic memorabilia for their loved ones before Valentine’s Day. Victor gave them props for running around in the cold knowing that hundreds of others were doing the same. No wonder the traffic was slow.  
     Victor’s eyes fell away from the hurried crowd to the small paper bag that was resting on the passenger’s seat. Directly beside him, a Styrofoam cup was nestled in one of the console’s cup holders. After his practice had ended, Victor had forced himself with his aching joints to make his way over to the local bakery near the skating rink. He had picked up a bag of fresh Sushki and a cup of green tea for Yuuri. It was all Victor could do to give his fiancé an early gift for Valentine’s Day before their dinner reservation for tomorrow.  
     However, Victor was currently too preoccupied to burden himself with the ideas of the inevitable busy day to ensue. He couldn’t help but allow his mind slip back to the impending future of his career. There was little room to think of the holiday most significant to him and Yuuri with retirement clouding his mind.  
     As if dragging him out of the spiraling thoughts, his body was washed in a wave of dull pain. Even the hot air blasting on Victor’s hands, face, and legs from the car’s vents did little to relieve the discomfort. Letting out another quiet noise of frustration, Victor reached to turn on his seat warmer onto the High setting. He prayed it would give him some refuge from the soreness as he sat in traffic.  
     Out of the corner of his eye, Victor caught a flashing color of green. He turned to face out the windshield to see the cars ahead of him creep forward.  
_Finally._  
     From there, the traffic continued roughly with multiple jerky stops. This continued for another three intersections before Victor was able to pull away and head towards his apartment complex. He entered the gated community ten minutes later and pulled into his reserved parking spot. After aligning the car and turning off its engine, Victor sat idly in his seat. He rested, hesitant to move out into the unbearable cold. He huffed impressively as if thinking were now the most exerting exercise he had ever withstood.  
     When the coldness from the outdoors began to creep into his car, Victor finally willed himself to head to his apartment. Upon opening the car door and stepping out, a brisk wind lashed his face. He reached back into the car to retrieve the cup of tea and the paper bag in one hand and his skating bag from the back seat in the other. He quickly scurried to back out with his belongings in tow, closing the doors with his elbow.  
     The gym bag was slung over Victor’s shoulder as he fiddled with the car keys and locked the car door. He gathered up the stamina to dash to the nearest stairwell and climb up to the second floor. His hands are already numb by the time he was finally able to stick the apartment key into the lock after moments of rearranging the things in his hands. Warmth washed over him as he eagerly trekked inside the dark apartment.  
     “Yuuri? Are you home?” Victor called out into the pitch-black room as he shut the door behind him. He let his gym bag slip to the floor with a dull thud. He heard a soft jingle echo back at him from off in a corner of the room. A moment later, a presence bumped against his leg. With a low murmur of surprise, Victor realized it was just Makkachin greeting him. Victor bent down and hovered his hand in the dark to give Makkachin a few absentminded pats on his head. Victor then reached out aimlessly for the light switch on the wall. With the switch finally in his fingertips, Victor illuminated the living room.  
     Before Victor could call out again, he heard a rustling from down the hallway leading to the bedrooms. The sound of a door opening followed with footsteps reverberating off of the creaky floorboards caught his attention. Makkachin, with his tail wagging happily, padded over to the figure that emerged from the shadows.  
     “I’m home, Victor,” Yuuri spoke as Makkachin brushed against him, “Hi, honey.”  
     “Hi, love,” Victor weakly smiled, placing the tea cup, the Sushki, and the various keys onto the dresser across from the front door. He shed off his coat and hung it on the freestanding coat rack pole before removing his shoes. When they were tucked away neatly next to the other pairs, Victor stood up to see that Yuuri had walked over to him. Victor leaned his head forward and was met with a kiss to the cheek.  
     “How are you?” Victor felt Yuuri’s breath against his skin.  
     “I’m tired…” he grumbled in reply. Yuuri pulled away, chuckling softly.  
     “Your age is showing,” Yuuri teased. Victor huffed.  
     “I’m going to go shower,” Victor said, brushing off the comment. Relief seeped through the corners of his words at the image of hot cascading water running down his aching back.  
     “No need,” Yuuri cracked a smile, “I already drew a bath for you.  
     “…I love you so much,” Victor gushed, grinning widely as the image morphed into him soaking in a bathtub. Yuuri laughed heartedly.  
     “And what are you going to do with this?” Yuuri motioned to the skating bag lying on the floor.  
     “I promise to put my gear away after I wash off. I won’t leave it there like last time,” Victor assured. Yuuri cocked an eyebrow at him, appearing skeptical of the proclamation.  
     “You should go bathe before the water gets cold then. I made it your favorite temperature.”  
     “I will, but first,” Victor turned around, retrieving the edible goods he had brought back for Yuuri. Facing Yuuri, he extended his arms out and handed the paper bag and tea over.  
     “Oh?” Yuuri gave Victor a confused look as he grabbed the items from his fiancé.  
     “I got you your favorites,” Victor clarified.  
     Yuuri set the cup on the nearest lampstand table before opening up the paper bag. When he pulled out its contents, he let out a laugh.  
     “You really did!” Yuuri smiled widely, flipping the bag of Sushki around to examine its packaging, “Thank you, Victor. You didn’t have to do that.”  
     “I know,” Victor grinned back, winking. Yuuri rolled his eyes, still beaming as he tore open the plastic.  
     “Go bathe now. You smell,” Yuuri poked, putting one of the Sushki into his mouth.  
     “Alright- I will, I will,” Victor promised, heading down the dark hallway to their shared bedroom.  
     As soon as Victor opened the bathroom door, the strong scent of lavender wafted into his nose. He took a few steps into the small space and found that the bathtub was filled almost to the brim with water and bubbles. Two small fake candles rested on the corner edges of the tub, one on each side of the faucet. They flickered slightly, casting moving shadows against the tiled wall. The various hair products and body wash sat propped up on the floor outside of the tub. A folded towel was placed beside the array of plastic bottles.  
    _“He really went all out,”_ Victor thought, closing the door behind him. He proceeded to slip his shirt over his head and let it fall to the floor. He unbuttoned his pants, letting them crumple around his feet before stepping out of the leg holes. Victor stripped off the smaller articles of clothing before hesitantly dipping a foot into the bubbled-filled tub. He found the water was not scalding and continued to submerge the rest of his body carefully into the tub. Once completely in the sea of bubbles, Victor reclined against the wall opposite to the faucet. He took a deep breath in, relaxing his shoulders as the bubbles kissed his chest and the water settled around his form.  
    As Victor lay in the tub, he finally allowed himself to focus on all of the nagging thoughts that had plagued his mind all day. He attempted to catch them one by one like slippery fish in a tank. When he had originally stepped away from competitive skating, he had done it out of necessity. Back then, Victor had hoped that it would only be a short hiatus until he found the fiery passion for competition he had lost. He was not expecting it to be this hard to return to the ice after discovering that inspiration from Yuuri and his blossoming career.  
    Did Yuuri have an opinion about all of this, Victor suddenly pondered. Yuuri had never mentioned anything about Victor’s inevitable retirement or what plans they would have for the future. Beyond discussions of ideal vacationing locations or visits to Hasetsu, there were no other signs from his fiancé that implied what he felt about the circumstance. Perhaps Yuuri was being considerate. After all, Yuuri himself had almost retired right before Victor had become his coach. Out of all people, Yuuri was definitely the one to understand the sensitivity around the subject matter. They were engaged now, however, and they were set to marry in late spring. The two of them couldn’t ignore the major changes that would be happening in both of their lives as their interests changed paths. There needed to be a discussion at some point, and soon at that Victor woefully realized. They couldn’t go forth blindly.  
     The positive was that collectively, they were financially well off with a large support system. Though, Victor was beginning to accept as he shifted in the bathtub, that wasn’t enough on its own. There still needed to be conversations about the inevitable bumps that would appear in the road of their relationship. Where he chose to take himself next could completely change their life together. Or, perhaps, it would barely make a wave. Not knowing which possibility was more bound to happen brought Victor great anxiety. He tried to imagine the middle ground between the extremes, but his mind’s thought process remained binary. Retiring would be everything, or nothing at all.  
     Having endured enough of his grim thoughts, Victor finally sat up in the tub, rearranging his position so that he was able to lean and grab the shampoo off of the floor. He placed a coin size amount of soap onto his palm and scrubbed it into his short silver hair. Victor had considered growing his hair out again, especially when Yuuri’s hair was beginning to pass his jawline.  
     Overcome with emotion, Victor’s mind drifted off as he soaked in the efforts of his fiancé’s love. He really loved Yuuri like no other person he had ever met. He wanted nothing more than to be with Yuuri and spend all of his days with the other man. Victor wanted a future that allowed for them to always be together, no matter where their desires took them. It wasn’t uncommon for Victor to have elaborate daydreams of the two of them becoming coaches and teaching others how to skate.  
     Other fantasies involved the pair offering to speak as commentators at skating competitions. Victor laughed whenever he had pictured the two of them sharing playful banter after finding themselves disagreeing on a performance’s outcome. He just wanted to share his world with Yuuri and join him on whatever journeys they would set out on.  
     After thoroughly lathering his hair up with foam, Victor leaned back into the soapy water to rinse his head. His hearing decreased abruptly. Everything was muffled and peaceful, a noticeable contrast to the storm brewing within his mind. He laid there in the warm water, his fingers brushing through the locks of hair floating freely as he removed the shampoo residue. The swishing noise of moving water filled his ears, but it did not drown out the worries.  
     Once the shampoo was rinsed from his hair, Victor sat up. Water easily ran down from his hair onto his back and shoulders. He squeezed it out thoroughly before retrieving the body wash from the floor. He placed a dollop onto his hand as he had done with the shampoo before lathering it all over his chest, back, legs, and arms. Each time he reached to cover a spot in soap, his muscles lazily cried out in rejection of the movement. They preferred to remain undisturbed as they marinated in the warm water.  
     At last, spotting that his fingers were developing wrinkles, Victor pushed down on the faucet’s drain stopper. Immediately, the sound of gurgling water filled the tiny room as it rushed down into the pipes below the tub. Victor sighed as he waited for the bathtub to empty completely. The cool air clung to his skin, making him shiver. After a few minutes, the tub was absent of water. Victor turned on the faucet and used his hands to give himself a wash down to completely remove any soapy residue. When he felt completely clean, Victor happily grabbed the fresh towel Yuuri had laid out for him, stood up, and wrapped it around his chilling body. After entirely drying himself off, Victor headed into the bedroom with his dirty clothes in hand. He was surprised to find a fresh shirt, sweats, pair of socks, and underwear laid out neatly in a row on the bed. It took only a minute for Victor to dress himself and head back to the living room.  
     When exiting the bedroom, Victor noticed that the lights in the living room and kitchen had been dimmed. An unusual orange hue was coming from down the hallway. Upon entering the larger space, Victor saw that several candles had been lit and placed throughout the living room. There was a mass collection of pillows covering the entire floor. On the far side of the room, Yuuri was sitting in a chair. He was leaning forward with his elbows on the tops of his thighs, the cup of tea clasped in his hands. He seemed to be looking off thoughtlessly at the pillow flooded floor. At the noise of Victor’s shuffling, Yuuri turned his head and sat up abruptly. It was then that Victor noticed Yuuri had taken off his shirt. Victor felt slightly flustered as he proceeded to walk towards his fiancé.  
     “Yuuri, what is all of this?” Victor gawked.  
     “Don’t you remember, Mr. Nikiforov?” Yuuri bore a small grin, “You have a scheduled massage this evening with me as your _Masseur_.”  
     “ _Masseur_?” Victor laughed, “Is that so?”  
     “That was what my schedule said when I last checked it,” Yuuri claimed, giving him a wink before he rose to his feet. Victor noted that Yuuri had also removed his pants and sported tight dark boxer briefs.  
     “Aren’t you cold wearing only-“ Victor fumbled with his words, “ _That_?”  
     “The cold doesn’t bother me like it used to now that I’ve been living in Russia for the past few months.”  
     “Is that so?” Victor questioned.  
     “Will you lie down for me now, Mr. Nikiforov? I’m sure you’re ready for your massage after a long day at the rink,” Yuuri pushed.  
     “More than I ever thought I would be,” Victor confessed, willingly approaching the accumulation of pillows.  
     “In the middle of the floor should be fine.”  
     Victor nodded, slowly kneeling down to the floor before crawling onto the makeshift mattress. Once situated, he rested himself onto his stomach.  
     “Like this?”  
     “Perfect. Are you ready?" Yuuri asked. His voice was low and sultry. Victor felt a shiver go up his spine. The brisk air in the room was beginning to kiss Victor’s back. He wondered how Yuuri could endure this nippy temperature.  
     “Wait, what about my bag?”  
     “I was nice and decided to put everything in the wash for you.”  
     “You’re a godsend,” Victor cooed.  
     “May I start now?”  
     “Yes. Go ahead, please.”  
     “Do you want music while I give you a massage, Mr. Nikiforov? I can use my phone to play you something nice.”  
     “That would be lovely, _Mr. Katsuki_ ,” Victor teased. He heard a low chuckle come from his fiancé. Relaxing piano engulfed Victor’s ears a few moments later. A presence loomed over Victor’s body right after and cautious hands rolled up his back gingerly, resting on the area between his shoulder blades. Fingers dug strongly into the muscle without hesitation. Pain quickly spiked in Victor’s body and he let out a loud breath of discomfort.  
     "Is that too hard?" Came a concerned voice from above through the piano notes.  
     "No, the pain will subside soon. You can keep going," Victor reassured his masseur. Yuuri continued to work fervently on Victor’s upper back. The ache soon melted into grandiose relief. The stiffness in his muscles was dismissed with each roll of the palm and the methodical work of Yuuri’s fingers. Victor forced himself not to tense up whenever Yuuri rubbed over a painful spot.  
     "Work that area a bit, please," Victor requested when Yuuri’s hands moved up and kneaded the base of his neck. Yuuri’s fingers felt like heaven. They had mastered the perfect balance between rough and gentle touches on his sore body. When the initial tenderness had faded, Victor found himself falling into a drowsy state. The combination of soothing music and touch had the perfect amount of euphoria needed to send Victor to sleep. Struggling to stay conscious, he closed his eyes. Victor was sure that Yuuri would not mind him dozing during their massage session after a grueling skating practice.  
     For a moment, the anxiety inducing thoughts drifted away as the soreness dispersed. Victor was able to focus only on the sensations and sounds filling his body rather than his plaguing woes. Yuuri changed the direction of his massage and began to work down Victor’s back along his spine.  
     “I love you…”  
     Victor perked up immediately, lifting his head up slightly. The massage had stopped.  
     “What?” he asked, softly.  
     “I love you, Victor,” Yuuri repeated, said just as gently as he had the first time.  
     “I love you too, Yuuri,” Victor rested his head back onto a pillow. He felt the hands on his body relax flat against his skin. They brushed over him hesitantly. What Victor felt next surprised him. Right in the middle of his back, he felt a wet object press itself against the area. Victor realized that it was Yuuri’s lips kissing him after he felt hair brush along his skin with the wetness. Kiss after kiss was delivered along his spine up to the back of his neck. Each kiss tickled slightly, causing Victor to shift with each touch. He was relishing in the attention fervently.  
     “Is that good, Mr. Nikiforov?” Yuuri whispered, still audible over the music rumbling throughout the open room.  
     “Mhm…”  
     Victor’s mind wandered off once more as the music swelled around him. He was perfectly content lying still as his fiancé massaged every aching muscle. Yuri moved to his lower back, grazing over a sensitive area on Victor’s right side. He was suddenly pulled from his fatigue, jerking sideways as he grunted.  
     "Careful!" he laughed meekly.  
     "Sorry, I forgot about that," Yuuri apologized, "I’ll try and avoid it."  
     The massage resume once Victor situated himself parallel to the floor. He released the tension in his shoulders as Yuuri moved away from the tender spot. After a few minutes had passed, Victor felt a sudden prick on his backside.  
     "Yuuriii~" Victor cooed playfully, looking over his shoulder. He felt another pinch in response.  
     "What? I’m just giving you a massage," Yuuri said, pretending to be naive to the implication of his actions.  
     “I’m sureee you are,” Victor badgered. Victor felt Yuuri shift away from him, crawling his way to easily talk to Victor face to face.  
     “Was it to your satisfaction?”  
     “That was a wonderful massage, Yuuri,” Victor complimented, sitting up on the nest of pillows. He was already feeling a pronounced difference in his muscles.  
     “This may be the end of the massage, but I have something else special planned for you,” Yuuri enlightened him. Victor cocked his head.  
     “For me?” He dramatically clapped a hand to his chest and put on a face of confusion, “Whatever do you mean, Mr. Katsuki?”  
     “I have a special offer today that only you can claim,” Yuuri continued to joke. He wrapped his arms carefully around Victor’s neck and leaned in close. Victor felt his heart flutter in his chest.  
     “Oh? And what is that?” Victor asked, unable to stop himself from grinning as Yuuri was only a few inches away from his face, “Haven’t you surprised me enough today?”  
     “You’ll have to join me in the other room to find out if that’s the case, Mr. Nikiforov. Besides, you surprised me with tea and sweets. This is the least I can do to thank you.”  
     “If you say so,” Victor prompted. Yuuri unraveled himself from the other man. As Victor rose from the mass of pillows, Yuuri got up and blew out the candles in the room. In the dim light, Victor waited for Yuuri to feel his way back over to him. One of his fiancé’s hands slipped into Victor’s. Together, the pair carefully navigated their way towards the hallway and to the bedroom. Once at the threshold to the bedroom, Yuuri turned to Victor.  
     "Lights on, or off?" Yuuri asked.  
     "Off. I’d rather open the curtain instead. The bedroom lights are too bright after being in the dark for so long."  
     Yuuri headed over to the window sill. Victor closed the bedroom door behind him, mindful of any possible Makkachin blockades that may run between the door and the frame before hearing the familiar click. He watched Yuuri pull back the large curtain that hung above the connected set of windows. Moonlight and street lights filtered in. The room became illuminated in a bluish hue, shades of yellow mixing in the streams. The bed was partially lit. Victor slowly made his way to the bed and delicately crept onto the sheets. Yuuri joined him a moment later, lying right beside Victor. His face was cast in shadow. The edge of Yuuri’s hair was bright as if a halo crowned the back of his head. Victor smiled at the sight before him.  
     "You look exhausted," Yuuri murmured, reaching out to stroke Victor’s damp bangs back into the rest of his hair.  
     "Yeah... It’s really catching up to me now that I’ve been lying around."  
     "I bet..."  
     Another brush through the hair, this time Yuuri’s fingers slipped in between the locks and parted them.  
     "So, what’s this plan that you have for us?"  
     "I was going to love on you for a bit..." Yuuri tilted his head until it hit the pillow below him. His hand came down to cup Victor’s cheek.  
     "Mm... Sounds nice," Victor said hazily.  
     "I’ll only do so if you stay awake though."  
     "I’ll try to stay awake for as long as I can."  
     "I don’t want to force you to stay awake if you’re really tired though."  
     "As soon as I have trouble keeping my eyes open, I’ll tell you to stop"  
     "You already look like you’re there," Yuuri noted.  
     "I promise it won’t be like that for long," Victor swore. Yuuri shifted and made a huffing noise. Victor assumed that Yuuri was rolling his eyes at him.  
     "Alright, I’ll take your word on it."  
     Rolling on top of the other man’s body, Yuuri leaned down and kissed the space between where Victor’s shoulder met his neck. Victor craned his neck to give more room for Yuuri to work on him. He felt Yuuri’s strong hands hold his shoulders down as he continued to deliver kisses up his jaw and towards his ear. Victor left out a soft pant when he felt Yuuri’s teeth tug at his earlobe and a warm breath coat his skin.  
     “Is this okay?” Yuuri whispered.  
     “Yes, keep going…”  
     Another pull on his ear sent a tingling sensation down Victor’s spine. He arched his back slightly, readjusting himself on the bed carefully as Yuuri planted his lips onto Victor’s cheek and temple.  
     “I love you so much. I love you so, so much.”  
     Victor’s breath hitched.  
     “Yuuri…”  
     He felt Yuuri resume his path of kisses along his neck, breathing hotly onto his skin. Yuuri raised his head, looking directly at Victor’s eyes.  
     “You are wonderful. I don’t think I could love you harder if I tried. I don’t care what you choose to do so long as you’re here with me. I’ll support you through it all. I only ask that you do the same for me, Victor.”  
     “W-wh-“ Victor stuttered, “What are you talking about?”  
     There was a pregnant pause before Yuuri sputtered out an explanation.  
     “O-oh- that makes me sound like a mind reader, doesn’t it?” he joked. Victor laughed hesitantly.  
     “A-a little bit, perhaps.”  
     “I just…” Yuuri sighed, reclining his head beside Victor’s, “I just noticed how your practices with Yakov were going. It reminded me of when I was struggling after the Grand Prix Final when Celestino was coaching me. I couldn’t get my programs down the way I wanted to, so I got held back most of the time before I took my break…”  
     There was another long silence.  
     “Is it… that obvious?” Victor whispered, sadness dripping into his words. Victor could feel Yuuri’s hesitation with his answer.  
     “Sometimes…”  
     “Honestly, Yuuri…”  
     Another pause.  
     “Yes.”  
     Victor sighed heavily.  
     “I think I’m getting used to it…”  
     A hand cupped Victor’s cheek. He felt Yuuri’s thumb graze over his skin gently.  
     “You shouldn’t have to be.”  
     The sincerity in Yuuri’s voice startled Victor.  
     “You can… retire if this hurts too much…”  
     “Yuuri-“  
     “You’ve made so many sacrifices for me that the least I can do is be there for you when you retire from skating. You’ve done so much for me, like- traveling to Japan just to coach me and you’ve pushed me to succeed-“  
     "But-“ Victor interrupted, “I wanted to do that, even if you didn’t give back to me. It was my own choice."  
     "Still… you spent all of that money and time on me just so that you could give me the best shot at gold that you could train me into winning."  
     "You continued to take my criticism and improve. Your family took good care of me."  
     "You helped me to believe in myself again, maybe even for the first time in my life. You showed me love and compassion during every moment you saw me. You stayed patient and you learned to accommodate to what I needed. You gave me a chance."  
     "You gave me a chance to prove myself worthy to be your teacher."  
     "You fell in love with me, Victor..."  
     At that declaration, Victor became speechless. He wanted to repeat Yuuri’s back to him, but he found himself choking up instead. His silence seemed to wordlessly cue Yuuri to continue speaking on the matter.  
    "I feel indebted to you sometimes. If I’m honest, sometimes it’s hard to draw a line and know what I did for myself to succeed and what you did to get me there. It’s difficult to know how much I can truly take credit for and how much I should be thanking you.”  
    “I-“  
    “Wait, I’m not done speaking yet.”  
    That quieted Victor quickly.  
    “I just want to be able to give you the space and time that you need to figure things out, just like you gave me that to work on my skating. I want to be there for you and support you as much as I can. I want to give back now and always because I love you greatly. Whatever you choose to do from here on out, I’ll be there to give you whatever you need, just like you did for me.”  
     Victor wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s back and pulled him towards his chest. Yuuri carefully rested himself onto the mattress.  
     “Thank you…” Victor whispered into his fiancé’s ear, choosing not to argue on the specifics of their past.  
     “Of course, love…” Yuuri remained quiet after that statement, knowing that he had said enough.  
     The two of them were completely wiped out after their long training day. Fatigue crept back rapidly into Victor’s bones and muscles as he rested beside Yuuri’s warm body. He was completely relaxed and sleepy. The mixing scents of lavender and Yuuri’s cologne grazed his nose as he shut his eyes. This was all he needed. This was the only thing that needed to remain happy for the rest of his entire life. Victor didn’t need more than this. He just needed Yuuri to love him through every step life took them. The rest was subject to change and Victor could live with that, so long as he had Yuuri there to experience it with him.


End file.
